Time for goodbyes

I am sitting here in my hotel room staring at all of my stuff, and I really truly just cant believe I leave tomorrow morning. This summer has been so incredibly challenging, exciting, life changing and  I don’t even know how to wrap my head around the fact that it is over.  75 days ago  I had no idea what I was getting into, all I knew was I was excited, but I never would have imagined my heart being impacted in this way, and walking away with so many amazing memories. This summer I found amazing new friends, I found hearts that I connect with, an amazing intern team that was there for me through everything, I found a group of friends that could lift me out of any bad mood, who could make me laugh non stop and who accepted me exactly for who I was. People that I would stay up with til late just talking, laughing, playing games and occasionally a nice crying session.  This summer I also got to see God move in so many amazing ways, and I was shown how in EVERY situation He provides. In every camp He brought a team of amazing Americans who loved so freely and deeply for each student. I saw Estonian, and American students alike put themselves in such vulnerable positions to either share very personal stories about their life, or just simply by standing on stage and acting like a fool. I saw students hearts come alive, I saw them receive so much love, and then turn around and love on us in such a beautiful way.  I saw impact everywhere I went. And then I saw God move in my heart. There is something so unique and  special when people compliment you not on looks, or skills, but on character, Ive been so surprised with peoples words to me, and it has been an absolutely humbling experience. I haven’t always felt peace in my life, and that is something I wrestle with so much, and this summer I have been overcome with such happiness, with  peace for who I am, where I am, for where I have been, and for my future plans. I think sometimes we are so focused on life around us that forget the importance of checking where our heart is, and it can be so easy just to walk through the motions of life.  Although this summer was KINDA crazy, going from one camp to the next, I felt like there was always time to reflect, to not get caught up in the moment, but just to think. I’m walking away with so many beautiful memories, and I have no idea how to even sum up all that has happened this summer. All I know is I’m saying my goodbyes with a FULL heart, and an even deeper love for the country of Estonia, and its people.  For all of you that have made this summer what it was, know that I value each one of you, for the love, joy, acceptance, hospitality you have poured out on to me. I appreciate all of you....and I will be back (I cant make any promises about when) but in my heart I know this is not goodbye forever. Thank you.