goodness gracious

sometimes my heart is just so overflowing with love, and appreciation for the life I have been given. Not that it is perfect, or even slightly perfect. But I feel blessed to be where I am, to have been through the situations I been through, to be able to recognize who I am. For so long I tried to put my own life together, and in the process of 'building myself up' I put up all these walls around myself. Walls to block all the things that have happened to me, to block out the decisiosn I have made, the ways I have been wronged, and to prevent these things from happening in the future.  I spent so much time trying to make my own version of myself, trying to make myself callous, all the while not dealing with the truth of so many situations in my life. But the real truth is, we have to break down these walls, and give EVERYTHING away. We aren't meant to live these lives so constricted with fear, pain, regret but we are designed to live FREE. And as i stop trying to watch out for what the world is going to do next, I am able to stand in awe of all that is being done. In me, through me, and in spite of  me. I adore a God of small things, who is working for the good in everything. He is not spiteful, vengeful, or hate filled. He is a LOVER, who wants the best for our lives, and He so very much knows what I need in mine. The past few months I have been so aware of all the blessings I have been given. I have a Job I love, and I work for people that are not only great bosses, but a picture of a christ centered family. I have a family who I adore, I live a life where I am challenged, and blessed, and surrounded by good. And in knowing that every little detail of my life is being watched over, I have been able to face some very difficult situations knowing that I am designed to overcome, and prosper.....and I guess I don't even know what else to say..

so have a good night world,
appreciate what you,
look for the good,
love big,
laugh with an open mouth
and give with an open heart.